We all live only once...

busy day at camp todae..
hardly could breathe
had to change into like 3 costumes in such a short period of time...
tiring and draggy rehearsals...

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virtually had no energy after camp todae..
but i still had to go teach melvin tuition..
english is easy to teach... blehx..

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random thoughts just floated into my mind...

i'll only love...
and give my heart
to the one
who loves me, for who i am
who loves me, the most
and who loves me... completely....

i mean..wads de use of making someone "gradually" love u..
when there's actualy someone out there who loves u 101%..

duhx..
i feel as though i'm seriously immature..
but yet...
mebbe part of me just refuses to grow up..
for fear of facing the harsh realities of de real world..

de body's tired, de spirit's weak
but the mind's still awake..

i haven slept since i went to camp at 730am yesterday.. which means 48 hrs without sleep....
n wads ironic is...
this week is one of my busiest weeks
we did chereo in camp, had to dance, memorize steps..
at first we thought it was only line dancing, den we eventually discovered we actually had to DANCE with the artistes... gosh... all the spinnin around, etc.

den when i got home...i went for a swim
swam for an hour or so... did laps...
den mahjong wiv detz n marvin... we played all de way till 9am today...
den i was abt to conk out...
but had to teach selina and liane the singapore song arrangement...
did vocals with them till 1245pm...
den ryan came for vocalst ill 2.. den qimin came till 330... den de other guy came till 5...
at the end of de whole thing, i was just drained..
didnt even haf de strength to bathe or wadsoever..

so i slept.. for 5 minutes.... got awoken by a phone call at 505pm...
my DVDs are ready for collection...
so i met detz at westmall.. bought bubble tea... all de way till about 8 plus.....

den i'm online doin music arrangements all de way till now...
arh...
i'm tired
but yet... i haf been doing so many things that it feels as though i'm still mentally awake..

n dere's so much in my heart thats bothering me...
sigh.

to back away.

sarang heyo
means i love you

sarang heyo
zhi dui ni shuo
i'll love you, and forever more
i promise baby, you'll see
mei tian wo dou shu yu ni...

--
sang this at chevrons todae...
midway thru de song, i suddenli felt a little slight ache in my heart...
one of the worse way to love someone ...
is to love tat person...
but not be able to find de courage, or de strength, or de ability to tell him/her

--
the saddest thing in the world
is loving someone
who used to love you..

--
somehow the song spoke to me today...
meanwhile...
i dont look forward to a busy week, and mani other busy weeks to come.
looks like i cant perform at PJC animore due to the heavy performance schedules VE has..
n looks like i'm goin to be very busy...

--
mebbe being occupied is de best thing that can happen to me now...
to take my mind off everything thats happening around me..

that dream i had at night..
it seemed so real...

i woke up around 3am..
n i held on to my handphone
contemplating

but its okay..
it doesnt matter if i call or not..
i think i did call u subconsciously..
coz i saw ur number under dialled numbers....
den again...
nothing else matters..
cuz deep inside u'll stay

no matter wad... i guess..

soccer todae... played intensive soccer for 1 hr before it rained...
rain was so heavy dat we had no choice but to stop...
score was 1-1 when we stopped...

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so we decided to go plae LAN again...
mi, mike, detz, ryan, james, felix n eugene...
ryan detong me n eugene vs mike james n felix...
haha... u will think that the team with 4 ppl should win.. but nah... we were thrashed...
partly coz i rarely plae cs... n neither does eugene...

nonetheless, it was realy fun..

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had vocals wiv ryan... fixed his pitching problems....
bought new games todae... bought dota, fifa, red alert 2, etc.etc.etc...
lots of new games to plae..

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went dinner at westmall wiv my parents...
met this sajc girl four times in 2 days..
saw her on de bus last night on my way home. den saw her while buying food at de food court todae.. den saw her again when her table was behind mine... n den saw her again when i went down to coffeebean...
she must haf been pretty amused too... coz she actualli smiled at me... duhx... =p=

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its goin to be a busy wk ahead for me.. performances, tuition, lessons, etc.
hope i dont lose steam...
:S

arh..

why am i walking along a road i shouldnt be walking on?

im sorry buddy..

i need a break.
tired.
irritated wiv certain ppl.

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now.. before i get pissed n grow older..

-breathes in. breathes out-
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did recording wiv suying yesterday...
and i realised i can do medleys pretty well.....
did a 17 min medley i think..wiv all sorts of music.. indian, malay, burmese, indonesian, hokkien, wadeva.. haha..
got to know a new fren faith. who apparently is good friends wiv marvin.
and who apparently knows sarah... someone that i always felt was super pretty in jc but whom i never ever talked to..

haha...
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recording's fun..
now i haf a good quality recording wiv suying.FINALLY.
=)
pj invited me back to perform..
gonna pull ppl along.. so WAH SUYING. ppl like dionne.. mebbe michael.. arh...

went receeing with mark at nus and ntu just now... was damn blardy irritating.
one.. to be caught between a Major, a Lieutenant, a stupid manager, a backstabbing member.

look here. points to note.
i did not OFFER to recee. i was GIVEN THE ORDER to do so.
i did not ARRANGE it. i merely FOLLOWED ORDERS.

1. a manager who does nothing but thinks she's right.
2. a friend who makes things worse by rattling to the manager
3. a Major who thinks that everything is simple and smooth sailing.

look here.
its tiring to recee. to be given orders by A, and another different order by B, and C, and D.
screw it....
just screw up the performance then.
not as if i care.

i love singing.
but not when things r like this.
not when i'm backstabbed.
not when i'm taken for granted.

-yawnx-

had rv 1i'98 & 2i'99 gathering just now...
lots of fun with all those who turned up...
karen's house... (which incidentally was just beside my uncle's house.. which means that theoretically we would have been neighbours)...
those who went... karen.. jiayin.. aihui.. wanjun.. siewyan.. esther.. sherwyn.. justin.. fang.. ziliang.. zhanjiang..

everyone changed...
we are all growing older...
n despite not seeing each other for ages... its still all fun and laughter... bbq-ing on that mini bbq pit... talking... joking around... recalling all our teachers and all the interesting things that happened in secondary school..

found more mahjong khakis! apparently aihui jiayin zhan and ziliang plays too! haha...
and aihui makes really nice lemon cheese oreo cheesecake.. :S (wadeva she called it)...

was great meeting up with my secondary school buddies fang and justin... we used to be so so close...

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all these actualli makes me feel like writing a song about friendship..
but i have never done so before..
all my songs r usually soppy love ballads...
so yea... mebbe i'll gif de frenship song a shot soon...

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meanwhile... thanks karen for organising this gathering! for providing ur house!...
n yups.. our next gathering would be at parc oasis yups? :) hopefully more of our clazmates would turn up den! :)

eh.. i'm touched.. haha
so mani pple download my songs...
would like to know where u all came to know abt it from.. coz i'm sure i dont haf 100 frens on my msn list who would download my song =p

aniwae..
had performance at pasir ris camp today...
was pretty cool...
met a few of my childhood dad's friends....
sang ktv in de camp..
super fun...

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finally on leave tmr...
i need a break..
super tired.
world cup fever...

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btw, france rocks! =pPp haha... :D

firstly.. thanks to those strangers who have been coming over to my blog n dl-ing my songs =) kinda fun to share songs n ur feelings around...

would write more songs in future....
mebbe it would be great if u guys could leave ur emails too =) so i can keep u guys informed yups? :) haha.. thanks..

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had show at peichun public today.
met the teachers that i met 6 years ago at NDP... those were de super nice teachers that were taking care of de PCPS kids while Altitude was performing with them at NDP with Tanya..

I feel old.. those kids are like graduated and probably in like college already... =) meanwhile, i still have our group photos stuck on my wall =)

random thoughts.
was blog hopping when i hopped to the blog of this friend of mine...
lots of heartwarming nostalgic things i read on de entry...

first, the way she described my song...
jiu rang wo..
"somehow felt that he's found his inspiration once again. this piece somehow.. felt right. i know how i used to laugh at some of his pieces, just like he'd laugh at his own stuff"

still remember going thru all the shit we have been going thru in college...
building up a choir, holding on to that glimmer of hope that we would definitely find more members to join the choir. putting in all our effort recruiting members.. recruiting guys... planning orientations, activities for the choir.
It was sad leaving pioneer's choir.. pjchoir.. pj choir.. i still remember all the memories we had. Going out to buy lunch for all the members, playing games, learning songs, quarreling, etc.
The photos we took together with Astro, Amy, Suying at my house at Phoenix MRT.

"ohhhhhhhhhhhh john john john. haha i suddenly realize what your lyrics say!
"wo zhi dao ni you ta, bu rang ni shou wei qu, wo hui jing jing zai zhe li."

this just reminds me how sucky my diction is, and how much worse it used to be last time. I used to sing ten times lousier than Jay Chou, with pronunciation 20 times worse..

"she'll always be the one u love the most this life huh. but im kinda glad to hear that u're finally saying such things. jing jing de shou zhe ni kind. *pats*"

dee.. i'm glad u appreciate my song. my writing. my feelings.
you are one of the very few people who have been supporting me, ignoring me, but still thinking and remembering my existance...
Remember the threesome message you sent me in the middle of lit classes? ha.. that was the ultimate. Mr Eddie Koh thought i was into some kinky wadeva.. =p

yups. haha..
know u wont read this...
but yea... at least one day when i read my blog again... i will be able to recall all the memories i had in pj... every single minute spent with people like you, astro, suying...

=)

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