We all live only once...

well, exams are over..
i thought having the exams thrown out of my life would be a totally joyous occasion
seems otherwise though...

---
went out with my aunties and cousins after exams to suntec..
hung around. and i gt rly rly bored... (i mean what else do you get when u go out wiv people way older and a totally younger cousin)
but well, some nice family bonding time i guess..

---
its weird isn't it?
so many things i wanted to do during exams
and now that its over,
i feel like life's boring n there's absolutely nothing to look forward to.

in a totally grouchy mood now..
got to teach still, smile, sing, play the keyboard...
ah, at least i'm doin sth i like
at least i'm making some money and i dont feel that useless...

now... off to do something to salvage my "panting while climbing overhead bridges" syndrome...
if any of you are reading this and feelin bored, ask me out
gr.

i look at the photos of her and him.
and somehow i smile..

coz she's happy.
happier than i ever could haf made her in my entire life.

its been a long time since i've updated properly...

people usually write down what they feel, or what they have been experiencing, etc. in their blog.
thinking back now on the past few weks, i dont think i've been experiencing much... nor doing much...
the whole regular routine of waking up, not wanting to go to school, eventually going to school, finishing school, going home, and watchin tv, telling myself to study (but not studying)...
the whole routine repeats itself like continuously...

or the weekend routine, whereby i wake up late at 1pm, bathe, and prepare to teach music, den i come home, feel lazy, and start bumming around again...

sometimes its about finding a fresh new perspective of life i guess...

end yr exams are supposedly arriving.
at a loss coz i dont realli noe wad to study...

gonna have plans to study wiv michael in the library till 10pm everyday...
since i'm always online and distracted when i'm home anyway...
been a long time since i've been to town..
or a long time since i stayed out late till 11 plus at night before going home...
life's becoming a routine.
and i guess i'm one who seeks changes...

meanwhile...
i'm off to teach again...

btw, down to philosophy.
i mean. prof holbo is nice and stuffs. so is my tutor in school
but seriously, whats wrong with this subject? philosophers should just all burn and die.. :S

there's this memory that i desperately want to hold on to.
but the tighter i hold on to it,
the faster it seem to slip away.

i dont expect anything back in return.

i'll keep u in my prayers...
after all thats all i can do..

deadlines running close
loads of assignments
semester tests, oral tests, end yr tests.

i just cant wait for all this to end.
maybe then i'll get my life back...

the feeling of emptiness when night falls. the concept of lying down in bed and having your mind run through a series of events that has happened in ur life before, and then not being able to sleep.

the feeling of being judged in everything you do. something you say, the way you behave, or the way you sing, the way you carry yourself, etc.

i'll keep you in my prayers.

so.. here it goes again.. another dreary thursday afternoon.
school starts at 9am for me, and ends all the way at 8pm..
its the day of the week i dread...
communications and new media tutorials... followed by a 4 hour break in between and then philosophy and german tutorials in quick succession, followed by 2 hours german lecture... its no wonder why i often hope to fall sick on a thursday.

den again, thats the difference about university..
u dont exactly want to fall sick... coz the minute you miss a lecture or tutorial, you find yourself lagging behind..

------
kukrusann got a gig request... 5 days in december, and we can apparently earn big bucks for just 1 hour 45 mins a day...

mediacorp spop contest... been listening to the self written songs by fellow singaporean talents online.... its not bad actually... which is what is stopping me from submitting my songs...

thats the problem with me i guess..
fear of rejection. fear of failure..

------
birthday celebrations were fine... not like previous years though, but still managed to have a nice dinner at sizzlers, supper at sheares hall with joel sabrina, meeting up with nana and velle on 11th sept night...
lots of well wishes and birthday messages this yr as compared to previous years. i guess thats how technology is making life a little too convenient for my liking...
where are the days where you painstakingly make efforts remembering your friend's birthdays? now, all you need is friendster, facebook, and they inform you when your friend's birthday is approaching...
no more exuses for forgetting anymore i guess!
just as much as how it doesnt feel at all great when you know your fren is wishing u happi bdae bcoz of that tiny email notification..

------
its the midsemester break very soon,
and i find myself in a desperate need to catch up on a lot of work.
i just dropped political science with a 'Withdraw' grade, and that leaves me with 4 modules.
i almost failed my recent german test, i know nuts about what the philosophy text is about and i dont exactly know what to study for communications and new media...
where was the drive i once had before school started to study for my honours degree? :

------
ah well, another hour more to kill before my german lecture starts.
looks like i've got to find another form of entertainment...

okay. i know many of you have been like asking mi why i havent been updating my blog..
but hey! really, its not my fault!

been like going thru a new phase in life... UNIVERSITY!
n its like rather tedious...
u get to know new groups of friends, so u naturally spend lots of time hanging out with them outside, plus you get new responsibilities....
you take on new subjects, and new challenges in life, and thats bound to like take up so much more time in ur life!...

its like recently i hardly even msg anyone when i'm online..
so if u're wondering why i haven't been talking to u for ages... pls pardon me! and it would be great if you would msg me INSTEAD... coz i havent been checking for who's online and who's not..

aniwae... new updates abt life in school...
i've been rather busy. my timetable kind of sux.. on thursday i start school at 9am and end at 8pm.. like HELLO.. thats like about 12 hours in school! thats half a day! and u're not even like factoring in sleeptime!

i'm learning german btw...
and i've just realised how tough it is to take on a foreign subject..

plus did i mention how i think i have become stupid?
i used to be able to like write on and on about stuffs and crap my way through my econs/lit essays in junior college....
but now.. i have to stop and pause every few words to reorganise my thoughts.... and my grammar's getting rather bad too (to think i taught english in ctss)

so yeaps.. i dont know when i would be updating my blog again.. but hey! its nice to hear frm u guys and to know that there are people who still read my blog :D

meanwhile.. take lots of care!
to my students frm ctss, study hard for ur exams! =)
and to my friends and foes who are reading this, KEEP IN TOUCH! =)

god bless! :)

Title: Pu Tong Peng You
Artiste: John
(originally sung by david tao ze)
remixed
http://www.savefile.com/files/923899

my r'ship is stagnant.. and rather screwed up...
sometimes i wonder if its just about me, or is it simply a personality clash that would remain unsolvable forever...
little things irritate the two of us.
and the way we solve things and talk totally differs from each other...
i haven't been able to even remember a single day where i have actually spent without quarreling wiv her somewhere in the day.
to many, i dont seem to care..
but this ongoing problem has been affecting me so much lately that i dont even know whats the best route to take anymore....

----
not only girls go for shopping therapy.. somehow spending money makes me feel good (the initial part of coz, not the guilt that comes after that)
been spending way too much money lately..
outings... CDs... clothes...etc..
if this continues i would probably break my 1000 barrier a month or sth...

life's been rather hectic lately
so many things to settle before enterin university...
aside from OG outings, there are still like forms to fill up, download, courses to decide to take, medical examination,
all these.. on top of my regular singing lessons and keyboard lessons...
hardly any time to breathe actually...

bought jj's new album...
he's probably the only artiste that i would never download his songs...
wasn't as good as i expected.. but still good....
there's this channel of energy in his voice dat makes listening rather soothing apparently...

---
recorded a new song lately..
or rather, a remix of an old song..
taoze's pu tong peng you..
download it from
http://www.savefile.com/files/923899

---
a few more days to orientation week
n a few more weeks to the start of another journey in life...

i look back at my entire week...
and i realise that i have nothing much happy to remember abt...

other than arts camp..
and de wonderful ppl i have known..
i never ever thought i wld get to noe such fair weather friends during the camp...

thanks sephiroth..
thanks to friends i've made especially the guys, zhengchuan joel....
and my allies sab huiying n sharon..
those crazy times we spent together.. all de laughter we shared... =)






shar, hy, sab n me (L to R)




and of coz the rest like kimberly, long lost jc fren... AOGL daphne, liyana, etc... too mani names to list..
----
things haven't been smooth sailing for a long time, with particular reference to my crazy rollercoaster rship problem..
things dont seem to be improving though i'm hoping it wld..
------
i miss the sun... sentosa...
i miss staying in nus..
the supper, etc.
and like i told a few of my friends,
all of a sudden..
i feel as though my outlook towards life is so much different..
maybe this is what it feels like to finally be slightly growing up and becoming more mature..

-------
schools' starting soon..
looking to secure my monthly income thru teaching of music vocals/keyboards, as well as tuition..
and at the same time, also be able to haf time for both my social life, and studies..

-----
i'm not sure if i'm coping well with every obstacles thats coming my way now..
but all i know is i'm trying..

i'm trying to still be a rationale boyfriend... holding on to something that is fast fading away and slipping away frm my grasp...
a loving friend... not forgettin altitude, and my sec sch frens...
and a thoughtful son to my mum and dad....

i've never actually realised how life around me was that screwed up until this very moment.
but as much as my life is currently rather screwed up, i have decided to focus on the finer things in life.

remember that cute eraser i stole from the bookshop in primary school?
how about the chinese test i cheated in in primary 6?
how about the way i shouted at the younger kids and boasted my way when i was prefect in primary school?
remember the way i strutted around in secondary school as if the whole school owed me a living?
remember the manner in which i vandalised my table?
remember the day i fought with my dad?

-------

the children in africa suffering from malnutrition.
bigger than my problem? indeed.
dozens of children suffering from HIV from birth, homeless, parent-less.
bigger than my problem? definitely.
the elderly dumped into homes, devoid of any care or concern from the children they once fed with their very hands.
bigger than my problem? obviously.

parents losing their children to freak accidents.
children losing their parents to old age and illnesses.
losing your loved ones.

as compared to these very people, i'm way luckier.
yes, my life's screwed up. and nothing's falling in place for me right now.

i know i need someone, something to get me through this.
and i think i'm turning nuts.
at times, i even think i'm suffering from violent and suicidal tendencies.

what is love?
who really loves me?
what are friends?
who are my true friends?

thats how life is.
cynical as it is.
the world's selfish.
and imperfect.

just like me.

i'll be gone before you know it.

okay.. so basically i'm idiling around everyday now...
till university

i mean.. here's my schedule for de wk... n probably mani wks to come

teaching music lessons like twice a wk....n tuition twice....

i think i need a job.. but i want flexibility..
so yeps..

anyone here needs tuition/siblings who need tuition? or singing/keyboard lessons? :P haha.. i wld greatly appreciate it... coz i have loads of time to spare, and i've my 10,000 dollars target to reach by the end of my birthday this yr.. .:P

been busy the past few days
excited with the coming of university term
but silently resenting the next few months after the next few months to come..

uni shld be fun
made a super big u-turn by accepting NUS FASS and rejecting NTU NIE despite signing de contract alreadi. lets just hope MOE doesnt blacklist me as an indecisive useless teacher-wannabe or sth..

my plans..
study in arts n social sci.
try to get a gd job. gd paying.
and if all else fails, become a teacher.
(and while tryin to get a gd job and studyin, hopefully study music part time n learn things assc wiv music)
and mebbe hopefully also fulfill my dreams of becoming a musician.

--

got a new laptop.
sony vaio once again
once a vaio customer, forever one
the design never fails to disappoint me (the price too however)
but yea, needed a faster laptop for university and for games as well... and since the IT fair was on, and my mum n dad were nice, i got a SonyVaio SZ433.

--
soccer on vesak day rocked my socks.
love playing with the guys actually..
in fact, love playing with people like detong n michael..
always encouraging, n intelligent on the ball as well...
their creativity created a number of goals for me n i finished the opponents off like 6 times.
which meant i scored 6 winning goals! wee...
come to think abt it, it was probably bcoz...
partly coz i hated one of de guys there coz of the way he kicked at ppl's shins like nobody's business
so i decided to totally play rough and use my body n chase like nobody's business.

cant say the same for the last field soccer game though.
demoralised.
and like eugene said.. disillusioned.
but well, screw tt match..

--
still on the topic of soccer,
man united just secred three new players
how cool's that... cant wait for the new EPL season to start..

--
starting to worry about when i'll actually start saving money..
n whether or not i'll haf a gd future.
i mean... i'm 22, and i havent even saved my first 10,000 dollars.. (and fyi, i'm not even close to saving that amount)
plus i havent got my license
and i'm still behaving like some teenager.
part of me wants to grow up,
but part of me fears what obstacles i have to face during the process of discovering adulthood.

--
i havent been updating so i've been just tryin to squeeze whatever that comes to my mind..

my stint at ctss is over
took many photos with classes like 1c1 and 1d1...
they rock my socks..
haha..
i will nv forget the faces of de ppl inside.. though i dont realli remember the names...
and the cute little portrait of me that jingyi yazhen and denyse frm 1c1 drew... its on my table btw! haha... i mean...
as a relief teacher, u dont expect much when u leave de school.. but these girls made leaving the school rather sweet =)
not forgettin de ppl i noe, ppl like rara n her frens.. haha.. (okae, i remember rara coz of de unique-ness of her name)
n of coz de rest =)
i nv know whether i'll ever teach again, but thanks for making the experience worthwhile =)

--
thats abt it now..
i cant sleep
but i'm gona try.

till then..

okay. FA cup's over..
n man utd lost...

i can mull over de fact that ronaldo totally sucked
or me and ryan can curse at the referee
or blame the obvious lethargy of carrick..
but fact is... they've lost... and the double dream has disappeared =|

----

watched the game with the guys at my place...
it was something i've been looking forward to all week...
and the presence of the guys made it all de more meaningful (though i usually dont mind watching soccer alone)...
so there it goes..everyone turned up except james n eugene (who apparently claimed he fell ill [notice my obvious lack of belief])

but the highlight of the day was when the doorbell rung.
and my mum shouted for me..

mum: john, did you order pizza? there is a guy outside delivering pizza
me: huh? no... why would i?

so i went out, and indeed there was this canadian pizza delivery man with like 4 pizzas in his hands...

him: the order is from a miss dixie

so i thought dixie was like goin to come over and she was hungry... so i asked him if i had to pay...

him: the order has been paid for. and there's a note for you as well...

------
cldn't believe it.. it was such a pleasant surprise...
super duper sweet...
coz she ordered pizza for me and my frens wanting me to enjoy my guy's night out... =p

------
i know u wont be reading this...
but i still want u to know how appreciative i am of this sweet gesture of yours =)

the absolute crazy things we 5 can do...
photoshoot with michael with like studio lighting and effects... =p

crazy friends last a lifetime...
who says only winning 11 and soccer would keep us together? ;p

haha..

Create your own Friend Test here

current leader(s)
Eugene Lee
Dixie

i just did a new instrument remix of my self composed song...
ai ni de yuan ying..
u can download it from here....

n do let me noe honestly if it sounds better =) haha.. coz i had lots of difficulty selecting the instruments n layering de drum beats...

http://www.savefile.com/files/709308

clubbed at zouk last night..
for de first time in like months..

had a fun predrinking session wiv de guys...
all of us were like laughing at anything...

--

but i hate de post clubbing feeling..
slept at 6, woke up at 8
was late for MOE's briefing...
and now i'm feelin horrid...
like my tastebuds haf disappeared and my stomach's still churning, and i can still smell de smoke...
and not forgettin my ears seem to haf lost 10% of its ability to hear...

completed my 3 wk stint at clementi town already... bye 3c1.. 5c2... its been a rather pleasant experience teaching u guys.. esp 3c1 =) the many friends i've made...etc...

the office lady told me they'll call me back if i'm needed to relief...
so meanwhile, i guess i'll just stay at home and be a social liability....
decided against finding a new job after all... coz its a little too trobulesome....

i'm going to start my driving.. i have to..... i'm motivated!...
i mean.. can u imagine... my dad's gonna let me drive de car at nights.... n probably on wkends too... ahh... n i chose de car in de first place coz i reali liked de mazda.....

alrite..sidetrack...
--------------------
here r a couple of highlights for de wk...
friday - watched er4 mo2 wiv dixie... super exaggerated show... but yang cheng lin's cute! haha... sometimes i wonder how and why ppl are still so attracted to these idol dramas when most of the time they actualy do not make sense at all....

saturday - marvin's bdae lunch... i'm so sorry i forgot! but yeaps... still managed to rush down and i was even earlier than michael...
sakura buffet... evil.... i'm so growing fatter by the second.... time to burn off those calories from the wonderful cream puffs and cheesecakes....!

sunday - soccer wiv de guys.... today's soccer rocked... was in the same team as ryan ivan eugene and marvin's fren (i forgot his name)... n subsequently clement and another of marvin's fren birdie..... but we kind of did rather well.. won a few consecutive games.. n i scored three winning goals.... it was like.. one touch, shoot, and goal! =) haha... feels good scoring....
havent felt so good playing soccer for a few wks... usually its just like "if i can score good, if not just play and haf a good workout.." but today i actualli felt the extra push to put in an extra mile! =) haha...

i know i havent been updating.. but tts bcoz the lazy bug's getting into me and i just cant seem to find any inspiration to talk about anything....

oh ya...
been reading a book by mitch albom.. "five people you meet in heaven"... dixie lent it to me... its rather meaningful...
have u ever realised how one simple sacrifice can actualli change someone elses life? n every person u meet and come across in life actualli has a lesson in life for u to learn frm....

......
alrites... gotta go teach keyboards soon..
so yeps..
happy birthday marvin! =)
n welcome back mike! haha..

english midyrs are over...
was super nervous somehow for 3c1.. was tellin cousin how it feels weird that i'm not taking the exam but i'm feeling the tension..

i guess this is part n parcel of being a "teacher"...
and whats worse, i'm just a relief teacher..
can u imagine how bad it will be if i'm a real teacher in future?

went round tryin to wish my students best of luck..
glad most of dem were quite positive abt it...

----

which reminds me.. i'm leavin ctss in a week..
and i actualy wonder... if i reali would like to leave... :|
arh well.. i dont haf a choice do i.. mrs chua's coming back.....

----

haven't been updating lately
n i duno why..
i havent been eating lately too
nor sleeping well lately..
dont even remember when was the last time i had more than 5 hours of sleep until LAST NIGHT!.. i actualli dozed off without brushing my teeth frm 10pm all de way till 10am... hahz..

----
somehow i'm feelim miserable..
why am i constantly brought to heaven
onli to fall flat into hell.

rollercoaster emotions.

i haven't been blogging a lot...
yes i know... haven had the patience, nor motivation, inspiration, or mood to blog lately...

been feeling rather down lately...
as if life's rather stagnant...
what i needed as perhaps a new lease of life...

---

started my new lease of life in clementi town sec as a relief teacher...
has been 2 days of teaching already...
adapting was a problem initially, but thank gdness my cousin's there teaching too...
classes have been rather bad.. or more like a culture shock for me...
i'm too used to the RVHS PJC kind of student atmosphere... so being scolded vulgarities at by my student left me kind of stumped during my first day...

but i guess i'm learning... learning and trying to draw a line between being too friendly and too irritatingly strict...
i mean.. all i want is for my students to enjoy lessons, enjoy studying.. n complete their work.. .thats all...
but i guess sometimes you just get taken advantage of, especially if you are a young teacher without any experience in controlling large classes...

well... had my first lesson with 3C1 and 5C2 today (the two classes i would regularly be teaching for the next 3 wks)... would say they were rather fun to teach.. BUT... they dont really seem interested in work.... more like interested in talking and having fun instead...

maybe i just have a face that says "i'm friendly so you can take advantage of my friendliness"... i have students like calling me john instead of mr khoo... etc.etc...
well, these 2 days are making mi reconsider my application to NIE as a teacher though.. i have a place at NUS FASS as well.. and i guess i've got to repriorities and re-align my target in life before really deciding...

meanwhile... wish me luck in school..

------
sometimes all i have is a song to listen to...

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/printfriendly/0,4139,105133,00.html

now i know why my hair ended up like... that
haha.. =pPp

i'm not superman.
i have feelings too.
i cry too.

beneath my laughter lies a troubled soul.
beneath my smiles lie a bucket of tears.

why is it happening again?

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

Verse 1
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

Verse 2
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind


Chorus
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh


Verse 3
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

Verse 4
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions


Chorus

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Verse 5
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

Chorus

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

this is what you do when
1) you got a new camera and u cant wait to test out de video function
2) you stay at home the whole day on a saturday afternoon and u feel bored
3) you love music. =)
4) you need to take your mind off stuffs and vent your frustrations on something other than the wall and your pillow.

liars
give me a break.

i swear i'm turning crazy

alright... IT Fair 2007
Got this dream camera for a dream price... Sony Cybershot T10.. one object that has been on my want list since half a year ago...
So i finally decided to ditch my old Casio Exlim 3.2 megapixel camera (that i bought coz of fiona xie) for this beauty... =)

And since i got a new camera, this calls for lots n lots of photos for this entry..!
(for those who might balk at self potraits... pls click the back button on ur browser now!)

aniwae..i've finally ord-ed.. no more camp.
i'm soon to be a civilain (gonna get my pink ic by nxt mon/tues)
so i decided to dye my hair!



here's 2 photos of me before my hair change...












this is what happened while dyeing my hair....

and finally...after THIRTY mins of waiting..



finally... my supposedly "ash brown" hair...!
:D


okae, i'm just gettin bored and i dont realli noe wad photos to take with my new camera yet.. so here it goes... =)

impresario 2007's over..
and i'm still feeling the post-hangover-disappointment kinda feeling..

firstly of coz, i would like to thank all that have come down to support us....
wanhsin, mellissa, kirana, geokmeng, javin, james, marvin, detong, mel (pjc), evon, christine cousin, selina, mum, dad, shuting...
and i hope i havent missed anyone out...
your support was greatly appreciated...


(the team) altitude, the dancers, and our nannies.. blehs..

well, its over, but at least we had a fun time..at least we challeneged ourselves instead of doing some conventional slow ballad..
so what if we won third... i thought we deserved more somehow.. i mean, at least a second..
and its my first time dancing n singing n i thot we all did well.. =p
n winning most popular group means a lot to me, i'm sure it means more than "we have lots of frens here".. but i hope we won over a great massive amount of support from neutrals as well =)

thanks kailing, thanks lydia, thanks verena for helping us out... =)
and thanks to bandmates ryan and eugene for making every rehearsal so fun!
as i said, i hope we dont stop singing there coz i think we can go far =)


(lydia, me, kailing n verena)
is it me or are my legs like short n out of shape... =pPp

anyway.. all these are memories to keep..
the tedious rehearsals, choreography for dancing, vocal practices, winning 11s, etc.
and as i grow old nxt time, i noe i'll look back to this episode and know that i had great fun=)

---------
life's rather meaningless of late...
i'm depressed...
but since being depressed is going to give me wrinkles and make me age faster, i'm going to try to channel my frustrations to music...

i'm sure i can do it...
n even if i cant...
i'll be strong.

if i'm not in love- faith hill

if i'm not in love with you,
what is this i'm going through, tonight

and if my heart is lying then,
why is my heart aching?

why do i go crazy?
everytime i think about you baby
why do i love you like i do?
if i'm not in love with you

me: my forehead's high, so i think it will be best if i could leave my fringe long..
him: your hair curls when its long, i will trim your fringe and give it a 'n' shape, its one of the more modern hairstyles currently.. (makes a n shape wiv his fingers)
me: urm.. okay, but my forehead is really high and i will look like i have a super big face if i haf a short fringe u noe...
him: dont worry... i know what to do

so i trusted him

and this happens!!

arh... n competition's tmr... a cap doesnt reali go wiv a white suit does it? :|
arh well...

okae...
i kind of temporarily relocated my blog, but its back now =)

3 more days to impresario 2007..
so yeaps..
for frens who wld like to come support me n my frens,
do let me know asap!
tickets are selling reali reali fast!

n u can view de pubilcity video on www.cacimpresario.com aights? :)

is it me?

again

again

and again

i'm just sinking deeper and deeper into an ocean of delusion.

the night air so still and silent
the sounds of crickets fill the air
a distant car, fast and speeding
a troubled man, with full of thoughts

why cant i sleep.

i was too lazy to blog actualli. but this picture just made me feel like blogging
aniwae, since i'm lazy, here's a brief update...
cooked this for valentine's day...
together wiv like lots of other stuffs, like prawn salad, seafood basket, peach vodka cocktail (which i name lieber girl martini)...
yeps...
thanks to the lovely girl who made this happen.. for being my food tester and a realli swt and patient date (which she waited for me to finish wiv de kitchen)

watched ghost rider...
which was surprisingly good (considering how i thought the trailers made it look like some disgusting boring and over the top disgustingly ridiculous kind of movie)
hahaa...

kae la, tats abt all i haf to say actualli...
thanks for the thoughtfulness and TLC in tt gift u gave me =)
i cant describe how lucky i am to have u..




my very own chicken chop with prawn salad and fries...

and over on the top u can see two glasses of my lieber girl martini (with peach garnishes at the bottom) =p

ah my back hurts..and its affecting my daily activities, my mood, etc.
n apparently i've got to lay off activities such as soccer, squash, dancing, etc. for de next wk or so...
even like additional sessions with my private physiotherapist isn't working (winks..) hahaas....

but aniwae, on a serious note...
my days have been pretty much mundane lately...
i don realli plan to go back to camp very often animore.. so i'm currently like seeing de doctor to solve my chronic slipped disc problem (and at de same time get some leave from camp).. and clearing whatever remaining offs i have in camp...

how life would be different after ORD i dunno..
all i know is that i would rarely perform on stage animore...
i would still write songs for sure..
but at de same time, i've got to find a job to replenish the miserly $450 i earn per month while i'm serving NS...
and also to start studying and getting my brains back (since NS has seriously made me stupid)...

meanwhile...
i'm contented with life as it is..
spending time with lydia..
spending time playing football manager...
n spending time rehearsing and choreographing for Impreasrio ...

so what if life's such a routine?
:)
i'm still happy...

altitude performing at junction 8

performances at schools like chestnut drive, peicai sec and anderson jc have been going on along great for me..

1 mth to ord..
i hope i'll still continue singing...

its official =)
altitude's in the finals of impreasrio 2007 =)

i guess the happiest thing abt this entire thing would be the fact that after all these years of not performing tgt, we finally get a chance to share the same stage together again...

thanks lydia, hsin, mel for headin down to support..
and not forgettin geri, eugene's mum, ryan's mum, eugene's grandparents, etc.etc... =)






the stage...











just before going up stage...










just about to go up to stage...








and on stage... =)





finals will be held in rock auditorium...
3rd march, saturday
tickets at $10

do head down to support and let me noe if u wanna buy tickets alrights? :)
thanks!

eugene n ryan were claiming i would be able to get loads of supporters down to junction 8 this saturday....
but seriously, i know they are wrong....

but i'm gonna gif it a shot aniwae...

for those who just noe me, you notice the [altitude] in the front of my msn nick? ever wondered what that was about?
now u noe.. altitude's this bunch of friends whom have gone thru thick and thin together... haha.. we used to be a singing group... participated in competitions, we even performed with tanya chua before when we were younger...
now, altitude's coming back to perform (After years of lay off)...
3 members, Ryan, Eugene and Me will be competing for the annual Impresario Group category competition...

Semi finals will be held this coming Saturday, Bishan Juntion 8, at 130pm.
Pls feel free to come, or rather, just come, support us.. =)
let me know if u'll be here =)

I cant breathe
And my cough's killing me
The wheezing in my chest.

-
Thought of another cool thing randomly while taking a walk round my condo
Love is inflicting pain on yourself, when u realise that you are/were inflicting pain on the one you love.
Love is making a sacrifice so big in order to bring long term happiness to the one you love.
Love is when you spend hours staring into blank space, cause the only picture you see is one of the girl you love in your head.

I failed myself.
I failed you.

So yes, maybe what dixie said before was right
i love myself more than i love others.

(Adapted frm bonita yu nana's blog)

mebbe kids know more about love than ppl like us do..
coz de things they say about love do make a lot of sense..

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."


"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."


"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."


"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."


"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."


"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."


"There are two kinds of love Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."


"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."


"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."


"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."


"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."


"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."


"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."


"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."


"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."


"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."


"God could have said magic words to make the nails fall off the cross,but.............. He didn't. That's love."


"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings."


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."



so here's what children think about love..
why not we sit about and think abt it ourselves...
what is love to us?
can love be as simple yet beautiful like how children perceive it to be?
or are we, influenced by the complexity of our complicated society, losing the true meaning of love?

The feelings I'm having,
I cannot comprehend
The dreams and thoughts I saw,
I wish I'd never had

With all these activities that are
running through my head
Just lying and trying to sleep,
I cannot- in my bed

Without thinking of all the great
memories and times we've shared
And all the secrets
I have bared!

But, I could never love another
as true and pure of heart
So for now.....
I'll stick around and we wont be apart

i suddenly realised how i cant deal with lots of problems
mebbe i'm just not mature enuf
but den again
at 21?
hahs... wads up man...

i think i make everyone around me miserable.
duhs..

haven blogged for ages...
been down with a horrible flu for de past week in fact...
since last sunday, all the way till now...
and whats worse, i've alreadi seen the doctor and am on a course of antibiotics.. but i'm still like not recovering...
i'm coughing phlegm out, i'm sniffing every night and my throat hurts...

had practise with altitude this morning though. still cldn't sing....
but yeps, we are goin to be in impreasrio semi finals, bishan junction 8 outdoor atrium, 130pm if i'm not wrong, on 26th jan, saturday..
so do come over and support if u can make it =)

meanwhile.. i shall just rest i guess..
dere's nothing much i can do on this lazy sunday....
cant wait for manchester united to play though...! :) time to open up a 9 point advantage over chelsea! =p
---------

i will rather change myself to make u happy
than see you change to make me smile.

i got sexually violated today... =(
sighs...

i cant sleep..

NUS FASS
NTU NIE?

i wanna be with you...

i never ever thought i would bake a cheesecake...
apparently i still did though.. =)
and fortunately, it still tasted edible...





aniwae... today's my baby's birthday...

your happiness means so much to me dear =)
so stay happy always...

happy birthday lydia.. God bless... loves...

what a draggy and drone-ish (is there such a word aniwae?) sunday...
i'm on de verge of catching a rather bad flu... coz i'm sneezing and coughing like nobody's business..
and i'm gettin a headache, my throat's hurting and i've absolutely no energy to do anything whatsoever...

woke up at 3am last nite and subsequently cldn't sleep...
i dunno wads wrong but i had like weird subconscious dreams (which feels like i'm awake yet i'm not exactly awake, nor sleeping)
den de air con suddenli felt a little too warm, so i turned it down a degree, and all of a sudden i was shivering...blahblahblah~
woke up, took a slight overdose of coughmixture coz i was lazy to use de spoon, and den fell asleep...
woke up this morning feeling as though i DID take too much coughmixture.. coz my head was light and everything..
woke up to de silence of my house. parents were in church, and de house was stuffy and silent.
==========

okae, mebbe i shld stop whining abt how horrible de day started for me..

beginning to think abt my future education
NUS FASS?
NTU NIE Bachelor of Arts scholarship
OR
La-SAlle music technology degree..

sigh...
why am i 21. why haf i reached de age where i haf to start worrying abt all these shit?

aniwae.. i nv expected to ever skate again...
maybe coz i feel old and i think ice skating's a young person thing...
but well, was thinking of fun new activities to engage in when lydia and i both decided on ice skating....
wanted more ppl along so i tried to get all my frens.. onli michael agreed though..so michael me, kailing and lydia went ice skating yesterday...

it was fun nonetheless... =)
thanks dear =)

-----
and thanks mike, kailing for the wonderful company! =)

been a little lazy to update... so yeaps... gonna just do a brief update...

---
spent countdown new yr wiv lydia...
we actualli went to the Asian Civilisation Museum to look at urm... statues of buddhas and old artifacts frm olden China or sth...:S
was pretty fun though.. taking photos with buddha books.. statues... masks... etc... we even took a photo with this computer curator who was introducing to us the musuem... managed to catch a glimpse of de fireworks n stuff...
my new yr rocked absolutely =)
thanks for everything...

---
mum and dad treated lydia to dinner yesterday at coca steamboat... it was all fine too...
watched the takeshi show wiv nana and josh and lydia yesterday..
haha... like such a weird combi rite...but yeps... pretty cool... glad they could all get along...

---

lots of things bothering her lately.. and all i can hope for is tt she would still be happy and worry-free...
and it seems like de onli thing i can do for her is to be there for her...
arh well... hope tats enuf...


---
i'm gonna ord in 2 mths plus... i cant wait..
considering goin to NUS FASS instead since i dont realli noe wad i want wiv my future..
La Salle sounds like a rather bleak option considering that i dont think the degree there is very "wowww"... its just like a "urm... okae" kind of degree...
n i dont think musicians would ultimately make enuf money... sighs...

been spending a lot lately..time to curb..
had to actualli spend my last week of 2006 wiv like $6.23 in my account...nv felt tt poor in my ENTIRE life... gosh...

back to camp todae.. played soccer.. and my toe's stubbed... its been 3 wks and its still slightly swollen... :S



oh ya, and did i mention that Altitude's like in the semi finals of impreasrio? which means we'll be performing at some shopping mall for de semis.. so for frens who would be so nice to lend us ur support, let me noe! =)
too bad mike and dets cldn't join us though... its fun singing and performing again wiv dem..