We all live only once...

schedule's settled
i'm gonna go join superstar after all...
its for de fun of it though, since i know i wont get far..
i mean, it doesnt harm to roughly see where u stand rite? :P

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MDC MVE has been pretty relaxed de last wk
no performance..
we may hold our own concert by the end of this yr, subjected to approval

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here's a rough recap on what i did for the past wk
finally watched click... it was a super last minute arrangement though... went down to causeway wiv shuting..
superbly touching..
haha, i know guys "liu xie bu liu lei".. but i actuali cried manz... as usual...
sometimes i think i'm too emotional.. =pPp

had sakae sushi for de first time in a very long time.
watched a movie for de first time in a very long time
went down to town for de first time in a very long time..
haha.. mebbe i'm gettin my life back now that schedule's a little more relaxed..

here's our performance at chevrons... =p tryin to look high class wiv de wine glasses but toshi kinda spoilt it =pPp






last but not least
my bdae celebrations! 21st bdae..
firstly, i cant believe i'm 21.. i mean... gosh... time passes so quickly manz... i realli feeel as if i'm 18..
its gonna be held at east coast chalet
5pm onwards
on the 9th sept... saturday =)

so yups.. if u guys can make it! just text me or sth kz? :)

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yup...
i'm still missing u...

problems, problems n more problems.

superstar auditions - i wanna join. i planned to. and everything was perfect..schedule was free n everything.. den all of a sudden yesterday, our schedule states "SAF DAY (all involved) "
and its like on friday, saturday and sunday.. on the wkend where superstar auditions are held.

bdae celebrations - 090906. guest list confirmed.. i need to start asking ppl there... den all of a sudden, there's a performance on 080906...

i mean... come on la... be more organised la. add performances last minute as if we are free 24 hours 7 days a week issit.

urghx.

you do not find happiness in just love..
sometimes u can find it in ur frens..
or just something else..

i'm happi when ..
-playing mahjong n catchin up wiv frens
-performing to hyper ppl
-playin soccer..

other than that.... most of the times, u'll see me with a frown on my face...

u think of crazy things when u're feelin sad...

i'm kind of thinking of recording an MTV for my song...
crazy idea i noe..
but yea.. with the craze abt youtube.com n stuffs..
mebbe this might work?

ppl would rather watch a song than hear de mp3 rite?
n i can get an actor and actress to act n i don haf to appear on de mv...
hahaa..

n on top of tat, i can spread my song around..

mmm.... before i get carried away.. =p ani1 wanna be my first lead actor n actress? :P

performed at hillgrove secondary school today...
one of the schools that makes me feel like writing about..
it beats performing at certain schools we performed at lately at yishun..
the school was nice..warm...
nice malay food...
fun and enthusiastic students... enthusiastic teachers as well..

we played floorball in between the upper sec n lower sec assemblies... haha..
reliving secondary school days manz..
used to plae floorball when i was in rv and pj...

mm.. yups.. singing today was pretty fine...
felt less lethargic... kinda liked de crowd response and stuffs...

something really embarassing happened as i was walking in westmall...
wasn't feelin in such a good mood so i was contemplating watchin a movie alone or sth..

decided against it in de end...
coz ryan msged to say dat de guys may be goin out to town later in de evening... so oh well.. here i am at home now...

its gonna be a busy wkend again...
teaching music... den performing at NUS... den on monday we'll be performing at bendemeer sec sch, n a couple other shows coming up.... arh well...
glad i got my 2 day mc this wk...

well.. i miss you...........................................
n sometimes i wonder wad i can do to stop this feeling from coming...
take care guys..

i cant believe myself
i'm crying.
and i mean non stop.
i cried while walkin along de road.
walked past ppl n dey just stared at me
i glared at them back.

i cry while bathing
while talkin to mel on de fone.
while smsing
while listening to de radio..

i'm tired..
whats happening to me?
whats happening to the guy who doesnt care abt anithing around him...
who doesnt gif a damn who loves him and who doesnt.

i want to smoke.
i heard it makes ppl high n happy.

or mebbe stick to drinking.
cough mixture perhaps?
i dont know.
i just need to get out of de world my mind's living in right now..

i'm not full of myself.
i'm not
i'm weak.
do u noe?

its 2pm.. i'm home.. yea.. dint go to work..
on mc for 2 days..

performing has become much of a chore lately..
too much singing..
too much fake smiling on stage..
was at national stadium singing for singapore journalists press conference or sth...
had to socialise after the performance as well....
listening to ppl say
"oh.. u guys sing realli well..."
"oh.. why dint u join singapore idol?"
"my son/daughter is in an acapella grp too..." blahblahblah...

thought abt some things my manager said today...
she told me to focus and think of a single person when i sing my song so that ppl can feel the song..
i did..
and i kinda felt tears welling up or sth.. but yea..... i mean it would be scary if i sang halfway and cried wouldn't it..

haven't been happy lately...
been trying to...
but like the past month or so...
u just keep floating in and out of my mind...

i want to spend my birthday like i did last year..
i still remember the surprises..
the birthday song u asked my frens to sing when i reached camp...
the ice cream cake u brought to my house while i was still at work...
i was alone in Singapore that year.. my parents weren't around... but i had you to accompany thru my bdae...

well... john... what are u goin to do about this..?

ipod shuffles songs .... :s
n makes me think of things i shldn't be thinking of...

its 1230am.. i cant sleep..
havent been sleepin much aniwae..

dere's so much on my mind...

"i'm young
i'll meet someone new
someone better"

i mean.. isn't that whats life all about?
we meet new people as we grow older, as we go to different places, schools...etc.

i know i would meet lots of new ppl...
but to me.. it doesnt matter...

i'm nostalgic..
i treasure the old ones more.
n i know no one can be better......

fireworks are meant to be seen with that special someone in your heart..
i didnt go..
coz it doesnt make any sense to be there with anyone else.. when my heart's actually with you..

something came over me when i stepped into the train at paya lebar today..
i actualli walked the entire train..
n i donno why i did that..

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i'm down with flu now.. the schedule in camp is crazy
involved in NDOC tmr.
den NDP post parade (we are actualli made to dance) on 9TH
den Istana Appreciation Dinner 10TH
HQST on 12th

its just crazy.
i hardly haf time to breathe.

do you noe who u are?
u're on my mind.