We all live only once...

had swensens wiv detz shasha n nana on sunday..
kind of a belated bdae celebration for sha sha...

den i watched initial D wiv ryan..

ah yup. no time to update. camp time.

jurong camp's like hell...
ok. de sgts are not that bad
but which camp confiscates their private's handphones thru de day?
we onli get to use our phones like.. 930 to 10pm? n within dis half an hour we are expected to bathe, wash up, pack up, etc...

and it doesnt help that my back hurts like mad..
urghx.

i kinda miss tekong.
kinda miss platoon one.
de welfare we get
our very nice 2ic. and our very cheerful oc.

i miss our sgts.
my platoon mates.
de chaokeng gang.

darn. can u believe it.
i'm being posted to jurong camp.
to be a PIONEER.
(as if 3 yrs of being a pioneer in pioneer jc is not enuf)

rumour has it that i'm gonna learn how to build bridges and diffuse bombs.
i am so not interested in dis.

i wanna go to MDC.
i love music.

i wonder how i'm gonna cope in jurong camp
(tries to stay positive)

The guy who loves you can't tell you the reason why he loves you, he only knows that in his eyes, you are the only one for him. and that he cant love anyone else but you.

The guy who loves you would seldom praise you , but in his heart, you are the best. n he is just shy to let u know.

The guy who loves you would never scold you if you don't reply his messages. he just gets sad. wakes up in de middle of de night n looks at his phone while half asleep. n sub-consciously tears.

The guy who loves you cries when he sees you after not seeing you for a long time. he cries bcoz he's happy to see you. at de same time, he cries when he's abt to leave bcoz he knows he is not goin to see u in de near future.

The guy who loves you , will remember every word u say. and when the going gets tough, he finds strength in ur words. even when u're not by his side n he's troubled, just thinking of de words u once said to him would get him thru.

The guy who loves you will not promise to love you forever because they don't want to break the promise. he wants you to believe him that he would give you the happiest and safest life ever after, whether or not you're with him.

The guy who loves you always tells you not to think too much bcoz he knows that whatever obstacles you have to overcome, he would definitely be there for you.

The guy who loves you would go to every performance with you in it. He would go there with flowers not bcoz he wants you to be happy. but bcoz he wants you to know that u're the sweetest and most graceful angel in his heart.

The guy who loves you would appear at your voiddeck with flowers at 3am after quarreling. He's still angry with you. But deep in his heart, he still wants you to receive those flowers.

..........


The guy who loves you. if he truly loves you. would love you always. whether or not you love him.
Your smile is all that matters to him.
And your happiness is what makes him happy.

He loves you. not bcoz u're beautiful
but bcoz he loves every thing u aren't.
He would love you even if you're not sweet. He would love u even if u don't have time for him.
He would offer to study with you even when he doesn't have to study
And he would sing to you with all his heart.
He would want to sms u every minute. but when he cant find a reason to, he would msg u a forwarded msg bcoz he wants u to know that he's thinking of you.
He doesnt dare to tell you he misses u.

The guy who loves you. would not only love you. but your family. your mother. your father. your sisters. your brothers.
He would do anything to make u happy .
He would do anything to make u smile.

For one simple reason.
Bcoz.
he. loves. you.

shld i tell her i love her?
would i be able to take rejection?

why would i want to go on like that?
or perhaps loving her in silence is de onli way i can keep myself feelin hopeful...
i don wanna lose a fren in her as well..

i'm confused.

went out wiv mike ryan and detz yesterday n todae... haha..
had a lot of fun...
went town yesterday wiv dem. den we were like crackin all sorts of jokes la.

den went bugis wiv dem todae..
was a bit more boring la.. perhaps we met two days in a row alreadi so had nothing much to say..
haha..
and mike had to rush off to admiralty to meet his relatives.
ryan to kap to meet geri.
n detong to westmall to meet elgina..
which left mi to realise that i'm kinda pathetic....
all of dem haf someone dat dey realli wanna meet.. someone dey love...
n as for me, i meet different ppl everyday..
n de person i long to meet... i nv dare to msg her or ask her out.

i kinda feel pathetic..
but at de same time
i'm happi for ryan. for finding a wonderful girl like geri.
detong, for being together wiv elgina for so long.
n mike. who has found someone whom he enjoys her company.

hahax.. i'm realli thankful that i haf ryan detz mike n eugene as my lifelong buddies...
without them.. i realli think i'll be weepin at home or sth..

--------------------------

gee.
i miss her.
i realli do....

im stayin alone ! =)
wash my own dishes, prepare my own meals..
haha.. its so cool to be in parc oasis...
closer to all my frens..

de guys r over at my hse now...
ryan detz mike clement eugene javin...
all plaein ps2..

-----

niwae...back to stayin at home alone..
i feel so.. independent
yet at de same time..
i wished someone was stayin wiv me..
i wished dat i could go out n come home knowing that sum1 would be dere for me...

hahx...sounds like i'm keen on gettin married..

duhx..

mebbe i realli shld get married.
hahz
i tink i'm maddd..

pop todae.
i'm finally out of bmt.


fact is.
mebbe it isn't that gd afterall
i wld haf lots more time to think of stuff

realised that
1) i'm sad
2) no i'm not sad, i'm depressed
3) i'm just feelin horribly down.
4) i'm emotionally drained.
5) i feel like drowning myself.

hahz.
suicidal tendencies.

gonna scram from NS in 3 days.. kinda excited..
wanna ask her to my pop parade.... but she wld most probably be busy...
or rather, i presume she's busy n i dun realli haf de courage to ask her.

urghx.. :
if onli she would go..
dat will make passing out of BMT especially special n sweet..

yesterday was my first boring saturday ever since i enlisted.
enlistment has made me compelled to spend all my saturdays out....
hahx..
but yesterday i cldn't even drag myself out of de hse.

spent one entire day recording.
recording various songs.
kinda think it sux...
so i need advice..

anyone wiv a sound card and an mp3 player can msg me online to ask mi for de mp3s yea? :)

i wanna pass out of bmt and go in MDC.

i want to renovate my room and put in disco lights, spot lights, wire up my sound system for an entirelly surround sound system.

i want to write more songs. n make an effort to pursue my interest music.

i want to stop being a quitter.

i want to be more confident of myself.

i want her to know i love her.

i want to be happy, but more importantly, i want her to be happy.

i want to take away my laziness.

i want to learn driving, and to buy a car.

i want to be loved.

i want a life with you around.