We all live only once...

realised lately dat dere's a lot to my character that needs improvement.
de manner in which i handle certain things, r'ships, frenships...
my bad temper. my stubborn and resolute stands.
my unreasonable attitude...

i'm sure i can channel all these negatives to de correct channels...

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talked to jon abt music... abt talents n stuffs..
we had a very honest and enriching conversation...
lots of positives to draw frm dat...

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my grp is in de semis of party world....
grand prize is $12000... ah.. haha, but i'm not goin to think of de prize first =p
its de fun of performing on stage primarily...
de prize is just a secondary thing..

aniwae, we'll be in de competition nxt saturday.... partyworld at shenton way.
ppl can go watch... so if i haf frens who wanna go support, do sms me or gif mi a call or sth =)

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well...meanwhile, i'll just go reflect on myself....
i know u're reading this..
i'm sorry if i hurt u...
=)

jie tou nan hai
party world ktv be a star competition
we are thru to the semi finals~
n i felt the other contestants were all good...
dere were like pretty pretty SHE kinda groups... or TWINS or sth...
den dere's nice loving couples singing duets,
4 guys acting n dancing like energy...etc...

finals gonna be held in genting highlands.
we haf to keep working hard if we are to go there?

wat i need now:
someone to turn my frowns upside down.

i feel miserable.
n i don't know why.

i've lost interest in life.
i've lost all forms of motivation.
i feel like i'm someone who's awaiting death to arrive.

haf u ever felt this way?
felt as though nothing in the world is going ur way..
n that everyone and everything was against u..
n that no one cared..
no one loves u..

haf u ever felt as though
the world has stopped revolving around u...
n all of a sudden, loads of external frustrations and problems seem to engulf u..

i feel this way now.
n there's no one i can turn to.

okae.
todae's my last off day.
i was supposed to haf a lot to do

but 1) i'm in no mood to move out of hse
2) i don feel like goin out
3) i'm just in a bad mood.

de weather's gloomy... gona rain soon..
n i'm channel browsing on my scv like nobody's business.
i wanna sleep, but i cant sleep
i wanna go out, but i don wanna be wiv ani crowd.

wad a pathetic day.

long weekend for me. apparently everyone in vocal ensemble is on leave frm fridae till tuesday..
been down wiv flu for de past few days...
sang kbox tt dae wiv a sore throat.. did sum pretty fun recordings...

ai de qi ji is a nice duet...

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some ppl seem to think they're superior.
think they can judge u and criticize u.

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had some break throughs in composing my new song...
too bad i cant write it down in scores
n my stupid desktop is still spoilt.. which means no cakewalk.. argh. 1 mth and its still not repaired...

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big match btwn manutd and liverpool tonight...
i'm sure man utd will prevail =p

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ah yes, just random thoughts as u can see. my entry is not even making sense.
but ya. others may want to see me fall, may want to see me fail, but all these is what makes me stronger, wiser, and more determined to succeed.

i nv knew dere was such a thing.
but de entire right side of my throat is filled wiv pus...

urghx...
wad de hell la... :
i cant even speak properly or swallow now.

had my vetting on friday. passed it coz claudine dint listen to de entire repertoire aniwae...
learning more n more abt acapella....
learning more n more abt singing frm different vocal instructors... ai leng.... n dick lee's brother john lee...

had to go to de hospital in de morning... so cldnt go for mdc auditions to help out david and luc..

had soccer wiv d guys todae.... mm.. played like a man possessed for de first game...haha... i think ryan n detz thot i took steroids or something...
was tryin to let off steam thru soccer...
it always works...
felt much better after tat...

my first performance is goin to be at RVHS.. how cool... can get to meet de teachers who taught me last time..

life has become pretty hectic lately....
by de time i come back frm work i'm always super tired... no strength to do anything else other than slack around or sleep...

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anyone heard of de news of de human head discovered at orchard road?
de world's becoming more n more scary. sadistic...
so mani murder cases...
homicide...
violence..

kinda scary come to think abt it... that such violent n threatening stuffs r happening in my own homeland..

gonna try to enjoy my saturday n sunday as much as i can..
its my bdae on monday... sumhow feels different... reminds mi of a song i wrote on my last bdae... when i was sad n miserable.... lonely...

the chorus goes: (written on 120904)

its my birthday, another years has passed
should be smiling
celebrating, having fun
yet every yr's de same
i will look at de past
all i can do
is be there for you
all the time.

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this yr's bdae would be different frm last yr's...
i'm happy at least...
cuz i found u.
i'm gettin old.
20 yrs old
time to grow up... =)

it doesnt matter how many competitions i won before.
its back to square one...

an entire new way of singing...
a new challenge to blend in wiv de group...

the guys r realli fun to be wiv..
n did i mention i'm joining sum ktv competition wiv jonathan and lucas...
gonna sing ru guo ni hai ai wo...
hope things will turn out well!

but still, there's still this niggling feelin behind my back..
den mebbe acapella is not my cup of tea..
i'll still continue trying though
coz its just not me to give up without trying.

Vocal ensemble's gonna do Wo men de gu shi acapella version..
arh. felt like doing the melody for dat song... cuz that song is so special to me....
finding it hard to sing when i'm in mdc sumhow. i donno wads wrong...

everyone knows me as a performer. sum1 who entertains
but sumhow i slip into dis quiet, insignificant, soft-spoken singer when i'm in mdc.

singing has always been my dream.
yet i feel as though i'm finding it super hard to express ani creativity..
singing has suddenly become so technical..
no more fun. so mechanic.

mebbe i'm wrong. mebbe i'm just not used to it yet...
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just watched jj lin jun jie on tv.
he totally rocks.
talented.
talented.
more talented.

i wanna learn how to beatbox~ :)