We all live only once...

i still remember primary school. when my mother asked me what i wanted to be, i answered proudly. "I want to sell Fried kuay teow"... and i was dead serious about it...
I was totally impressed by how the uncle at the market could fry plates of hot steaming kuay teow at such short spans of time..

then came secondary school... when i was in lower secondary... i told myself that i want to be a teacher... a mathematics teacher... and i was dead serious about it too...
until i realised that my then maths teacher Mr Teo Long Cher (whom i feel now is a nice teacher) caused me to lose interest in that subject...

then came upper secondary. gone were the dreams of becoming a kuay teow seller, a maths teacher. I wanted to sing. I wanted to perform in front of a crowd. I wanted to be an artiste.. a performer... entertainer... took part in competitions, won prizes, won praises, gained friends.... I enjoyed every single minute spent with my band... ALTITUDE... these grp of guys who brought my level of interest in music to another new level.
but then after all these, i was still me. I was disliked by several guys in school... hated by some in fact... etc.

Then i told myself.. whats all these dreams about becoming an entertainer if u cant even be liked by your own peers...
I told myself. "when i go to junior college, i will just blend in with the crowd, and be quiet, insignificant"... i actualli managed to blend in for quite some time. i bet no one even knew i existed in school..

Then when i came back from thailand.. when i went back to pioneer jc again... i developed the habit of writing songs. First i wrote a national day song .. took part in the song writing competition together with eugene.. n we clinched both first n second...
Then i wrote a song for the choir, which eventually became PJC's opening ceremony song.

Then, i told myself. i want to be a songwriter. a singer. not just a performer. but a music producer...

but now as i think about it.. all these remain a dream...

its impractical for me to fight for my dreams and my passion...
coz ultimately, i'm going to have a family. i'm going to get married. and i cant take a big risk and walk towards my dreams and fail.

maybe i'm pessimistic...
but on the other hand,
maybe i'm just playing it safe

was flippin thru my files, folders and photos just recently..
saw de magazines i appeared on together with altitude last time.. the photo shoots with tanya chua, etc....
talentime photos, performance photos with altitude, etc...

then the thought came to me..
i think i'm growing old..
Not like anyone never grows old or whatsoever, but all of a sudden, all these achievements i have made seem so far away... seem to have happened so long ago..

My most recent musical achievement would be winning runner up at the partyworld grp competition at genting and champions with lucas and jon in impresario 2006..

but then, what other achievements can i truly say i have obtained?

i used to think when i was younger... the period of time with altitude...
that i will grow up and be a singer songwriter, have my own band, have fun performing on stage, etc..

at that time, singing used to be fun and everything..
it still is..
but now , i just feel like i'm so faraway frm what i wanted to achieve.

and sometimes,
i just feel like my voice totally sux..
hah.. well...

on a brighter note,
i think my character over the past few yrs have changed for the better quite a lot...

yups.. and to those frens that i haven been keeping in touch with,
if u're reading this,
do say hi when u see me on msn or sth..
i feel like i havent caught up with lots of u..